Celeste (vara) wrote,
Celeste
vara

I wish I'd never seen your face.....

Enough of my friends had one of these I thought I'd give it a shot. And since it's posted on the internet, one can only hope that others will read and respond. I've had a very very very rough day to add to the week. I'm finding out more and more every day that people are almost never who or what they appear to be, and I'm wishing that I could live without them...well, some of them anyway. If there is one trait in a person that I admire most of all it is honesty, and of all of my friends I think I only have 2 or 3 semi-casual acquaintances that have never lied to me or set me up for a huge fall. And that sucks, to say the least. I just can't seem to find anyone that really cares about more than themselves. It's been awhile since I've been in a meaningful, healthy relationship, too. I'm in love with the idea of being in love, therefor I take every opportunity that comes along, even if I can see that it will eventually be a destructive situation. I hate being alone. I think my subconscious conjures up some of the feelings I think I have for some guys, then I always get burned. I've done the sex-based relationships--BIG mistake. Talk about getting walked all over! Jesus! That I'll never do again.
There's nothing to do, but so much to do, you know? I'm overwhelmed with loads of work and everything, but the majority of my day consists of eating, sleeping, and watching movies I have seen at least 6 times.
Basically, I could use some advice. How do I bust out of this fucking rut?
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Sound's a lot like my story. It's been at least 2 years since my last "meaningful, healthy" relationship. I am a sucker for romance. Always falling for unavailable people. And one of my friends shared something I told in confidence. I have resigned myself to bachelordom, but you gotta find your own solution. You asked so....
Thanks, I always appreciate advice and also knowing that there are always others out there who know how I feel, even remotely. You seem like a pretty well put together guy. I'm sure stuff will turn out.